His and Her Health

I've been married for several years. After having kids it definately put a damper on our sex life. We don't have sex very often. And it seems when we do he comes too quickly. I mean the last time we were intimate he orgasmed halfway on entry. It's like come on! I don't know what the deal is but I need a lot more then that to satisfy me. I'm trying to be understanding but last night..I was so in the mood and everything and he drops a bombshell "I'm nervous"..I said why are you nervous and he says "cuz I won't last long". I mean that totally killed the mood for me right there. What fun is it if you end up crying everytime after sex. It's not supposed to be like that. It's hard not to take it personal. I mean what is it, I know I'm not physically unattractive. I mean I've been horny for days...trying to get up the courage to be intimate with him and then "smack"...won't last long. Well shoot me now! I mean...today I'm so down. I mean does he hate me...or what? Why would he do that. After he said that I rolled over and acted like I was going to sleep. I waited about 3 minutes until he was snoring and held back my tears...then I got up and went to watch tv. I wanted to just sleep on the couch because I was really hurt by it but...I know it's not all about me. He's obviously got some issues but what the heck am I supposed to do about it? He left me a note this morning saying he loved me and he's sorry about last night, he just wanted things to be perfect. Just thinking about it brings tears..I just want to make love to my husband for at least 5 minutes...10 would be great, 15 really great...30 would be heaven...I mean come on! That just makes me never want to have sex with him now. What's the point of being in a relationship with a man if you never have sex. I NEED SEX. I am a human being...I know he needs sex too..if he could he'd have 3x a day. For quite some time he hasn't initiated though...even last he totally didn't seem all that interested. What do I have to do? What am I not understanding?? I'll take advice from guys and gals. I'm lost.

Here is a link to a page with information on premature ejaculation, you may find it helpful for your husband.
hisandherhealth.com/content/diseases__co...emature_ejaculation/

I have a problem with premature ejaculation, too.

Things to try:

viagra: keep him hard even after coming, I hear (haven't tried it), needs a prescription, though. online versions without perscription were recently said to contain only half real medicine or extra ingredients, so stay away from those.

low doses of SSRI drugs: delays ejaculation significantly, too much prevents ejaculation, needs a prescription, you have to experiment of what size dose "works".

Masters and Johnson Start Stop techniques and kegels: haven't tried yet, free, no drugs

herbal supplements sometimes help.

A new modified milder version of SSRI is coming out soon **specifically** for PE, but no date as yet, but it sounds like pretty soon. Studies have already been done, helps something like 70% of users. emedicine.com/med/topic643.htm
bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_prematureejaculation.shtml:54tgtcpz]bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_prematureejaculation.shtml[/url]

raysahelian.com/prematureejaculation.html
netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/prematureejaculation.htm

<small>[ 12-28-2005, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

KenBster, dapoxetine was recently rejected by the FDA.

Really? Where did you read that?

That sucks. I was considering it, myself.

why dont you have him use a vib or something simmilar on you? you and he can build to a tremendous orgasm before he has to penetrate at all. im just thinking outloud here! good luck

Oh, we do stuff like that. And it helps. But it still sucks that I have to do that. I'd really like to be able to thrust for a little bit without closing the curtains after 1 minute or something.

then get a "sybian" and let it take you to the top. you sit on it like a saddle and an insert of your choosing rotates and vibrates while hubby holds and carresses and encourages you. possibly just the site of you having one O after another may shock your husband into participating on another level! if it doesnt you better check his pulse.

d rat, how much is sybian paying you?

not a dime! i know first hand what it can do

d rat. You are entirely right. I am so impresssed with the owner of the company offering a 5 week free trial and standing in back of this machine and to take the time and talk to me as he has.

<small>[ 12-31-2005, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

I have never used the Sybian but I can't help but think it's a bad idea, sexually speaking. At least for a woman in a relationship. Probably a pretty great thing for a woman alone. Something like that I would assume would desensitize over time, similar to any strong vibrator.

As for PE, how about clomipramine or sertraline? Practicing edging helps. Also reverse kegels. Also the Stamina Training Unit Fleshlight.

WHK,

I think zaneblue's point was that something like the Sybian could desensitize you after awhile, which would affect your ability to climax with your husband, which WOULD affect your relationship, even though you aren't using it when you're with him. Just because you use it alone doesn't mean it can't affect things when you are with him. Imagine if he started masturbating with a supertight grip when he's alone. After awhile, he might not be able to feel enough pressure from you to match it.

zane, and if i only : im sorry you feel that way, the syb can be used by a single woman but the beauty of the machine is using it with your mate. also it hasnt desensitized my wife at all, in fact i believe it has improved her muscle tone considerably. and it is the most awsome thing to see your mate in the throws of the most intense site on earth. does it satisfy her completely? not when im there! but it makes me feel better when im not.

I just have to use it alone as it would take away some of the magic of us together.

<small>[ 12-31-2005, 09:25 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>