His and Her Health

In an effort to keep up to date with some of the changes we can expect(boooo-hoooo)as our bodies age after the age of 50 I am interested in learning some of the changes in relation to sex itself. What we can do with regards to diminishing frequency, EDS, loss/increase of desire,who's doing what .... and how often (smile) and for what duration,etc. <P>Is this the correct board for those issues?<P>I am 60 and past menopause.<P>I prefer a little humor with my sex education. At my age I can't take anything too seriously ... I can't remember the answers that long.<P>Help, I'm lost and can't find a board.

Well stilllearning....I wish you had some answers for me....I will be 60 yrs old next Wednesday and I tell you I have tried everything there is to try....creams, herbs, Zaneblues diet and to this day nothing is working> I am so frustrated I love sex but just have no feeling even close to an orgasam Not sure what the problem is> I just never thought something like this would ever happen to me I am also a newly wed married only one and a half years sorry for no puncuation....key board doesn't seem to be working. any views you have would be greatly appreciated<BR>TIA,<BR>Elaine

We start noticing changes in our sexuality in the perimenopausal age range- in our late 30's and early 50's, and beyond, as our estrogen levels drop dramatically causing changes in vagina and urethra. The tissues in these areas become thinner, drier, making them become more prone to irritation and infection. It might have taken a few seconds to feel wet during the reproductive years, it may take perimenopausal and post menopausal women four to five minutes to become aroused, and she may still feel dry. So, sexual arousal can take longer due to less lubrication. If women don't have adequate lubrication, the result may be that intercourse may become painful. She may not look forward to sex. Loss of sexual desire may occur. Research has shown that approximately 1/3 of women experience loss of libido during perimenopause and the number reaches 40% in menopause. <P>In addition, to those changes many women also may experience hot flashes, sleep changes, and mood changes. <P>If vaginal dryness is the chief concern, there are long-lasting vaginal moisturizers available that should be used regularly, not strictly used for dry emergencies. Interesting when we notice our skin getting drier as we get older, we are not hesitant to go out and purchase a moisturizer for our face, hands, and bodies. However, we don't think about our vaginal tissues. We should have the same comfort level to purchase a vaginal moisturizer as we do a skin moisturizer. They really work !. Also, we should not be too embarrassed to be open and frank with our doctors about changes we are experiencing. Most women wait until they are miserable before seeking help. The ability to have good sex should last a lifetime. It is important to discuss your problems with your doctor if you need help. <BR>Pre-baby boom generation women are even far more embarrassed to talk about sexual functioning and urinary symptoms with their doctors and partners.<P>We must remember, that just because we are past menopause, this does not mark the cessation of sexuality. Instead it represents a stage in life when a woman can be finally comfortable with the person she has become. Women can preserve and enhance their sexuality in thier 50's, 60', 70's and beyond if they can manage the sexual changes triggered by menopause. It is important to stay active. Sexual energy improves with increased physical activity. Women who are active tend to experience more stamina and vitality. Also, remember, affection is as important as intercourse. Intimacy is not just sex - it's time together to relax, be together, hug, kiss, and enjoy each other's companionship. <P>There is one great paperback book I recommend, "I'm not in the Mood" by Dr. Judith Reichman. <P><BR> <P><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

I have to say, every time a medical person talks about sexual changes of menopause, it seems like the only thing they ever talk about is lubrication. I've heard about it for years and I never worried because I'm comfortable with using a lubricant. The thing I NEVER heard about in advance was loss of physical sensation. No one talks about it and only since I started asking did I find out that that's common too. Why don't people talk about THAT? And it wasn't until I read the Bermans' book and started coming here that I ever heard any advice other than "you're getting older, get over it" or "try a lubricant" or (if I insist on a solution) "get a vibrator." <P>I had to do all the research myself and bring books and articles to my doctor. Fortunately, she is very open and was willing to learn from my research and so things are significantly better for me now (though still not like the old days)<P>Eva

Hi Eva: <BR>You raise some important points. Often a routine office visit doesn't allow the time necessary for discussing sexual concerns and there are doctors who don't have the comfort, or the expertise, needed to discuss them. Most individuals over 50 are sexually active and those who do report happier marriages and lives than those who are sexually inactive. Loss of desire is a common problem and sometimes relates to a woman's partner and her partner's health, as much as it does to her own desire. Sometimes medications interfere with the neurotransmitters that stimulate arousal. Other medications interfere with the neurotransmitters that allow orgasm. Sometimes the cause is lower levels of testosterone which can occur after menopause, but lower estrogen levels and the adrenal hormone DHEA can also put a damper on sexual desire.<BR>Talk with your doctor at the start of a visit and let them know you want information about sexuality. If your doctor hesitates or feels they are not the right person, ask for a referral to someone who does have the time and knowledge to help you. Chances are your sex life can and will improve.

This is my thanks you to all the members of this great forum that makes it such an informative place.
I have made some good friends here and found some really interesting people.

During the christmmas holiday I will be going to a bermuda resort which means I won't be as active as usual.

Keep up this great community while I am taking my Bermuda vacation.
When I get Back, I will post my experence and share my vacation with everyone.

Merry Christmas