His and Her Health

I've not heard much good about v*******.As far as I know, there's nothing to back it up. I know my gyn doesn't back this product or products like A******.<P>Re: birth control. I've been on Zovia for years, with no discernable side effects whatsoever. That doesn't mean, of course, it'd be the same for you, but I've had good experiences with it and so have a couple of my friends. The plain truth is, what is fabulous for one person may be horrible for another. Many women go through a variety of pills before finding one that really works well for them--I went through 3 before Zovia, and had all kinds of nasty side effects ranging from migraines to obvious weight gain to intolerable, unmanagable mood swings. So, it might just take some trial and error, unfortunately.<P><p>[Note: This message has been edited by NEWSHE Moderator]

conner: I truly appreciate your last post, and can certainly understand the relevancy of what you stated, as I too feel I'm facing this same situation with my husband. You truly broke it down in such a way that really clicked with me, and I thank you. Now, in your opinion, is there ever a way that a couple dealing with this type of communication can resolve it? I've tried and tried to get my husband to be honest and open with me, encouraging, and almost demanding that he say what is on his mind, regardless if he thinks it will cause a conflict with me or not, as this is the only way we can get anything out in the open in order to deal with it. He has a very strong tendancy to hold things in (about EVERYTHING) that bothers him within our household, and I feel that that's very unhealthy for our relationship as well as his own well being. Is this something that I should continue to pursue with him? I get the impression that he will think I'm running this into the ground, and he may retreat even further back from communication.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by conner:<BR><B><BR>Are there any power struggles between you, covert or overt?<P>Overt power struggles spawn arguments, which if resolved adequately can add sparkle to a relationship. Covert power struggles that never surface can deaden passion in a marriage. The hallmark of these silent struggles are relationships in which all potential disagreement is masked in compliant behavior. Often, one spouse has quite strong preferences and the other does not want to make waves so passively goes along with most of what his or her spouse wants. Individuality is compromised and sexual desire suffers. Saying no to sex may become an expression of autonomy and power when all other areas have been forfeited to keep the peace.</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Playing devil's advocate here, passivity and compliance are also signs of low testosterone levels. The lower the T, the greater the level of submission. The mind is in the brain.

Thanks for your thoughts Conner.<P>Overall our relationship has had it's rough moments, but it's very strong. We are as affectionate as possible without taking it past a certain point. We are constantly hugging and kissing each other so there is no hesitation or problems in that area.<P>We've had some struggles, but we communicate very well. As a matter of fact, we talked about this issue for well over an hour last night. There was crying, there was hair pulling, there was hugging, and there was yelling, but we still came to the same conclusions. That is that we love each other and we will be together despite all of the minor setbacks. We've been through a heck of a lot worse and managed so this will be no different.<P>We talked about a lot about things and I found that she has a better rapport with her GYN than I had truly realized. I've brought up many of the issues brought up on the board and we've been able to discuss them openly. She's evn spoken to her GYN about a few items and everything is going the way it should. Her GYN is more versed on these issues than I realized and was able to discuss everything with her in a very plain way.<P>Basically we have come to the conclusion that yes, she does have a libido issue, but there are health reasons beyond the BCPs that are causing the problem. Though we may still need some additional help later, we have to fix some other things first. Maybe when we get those things fixed, research in the FSD field will have advanced a lot further and a fix might not be such a battle.

Lumpus - Are you now saying you feel the main issue is not the birth control pill? May we ask what the other health reasons are that could be the cause (physical discomfort? emotional?)? A personal question you don't have to answer, but it might help some other people here understand it's rarely as cut and dry as it seems.<p>[This message has been edited by Owner (edited 19 November 2003).]

WEll, we've basically concluded that the BCP are a major factor, they certainly aren't the only factor. See, my wife has major allergies. Now that may not sound like a lot, but it really is. She has allergies to grass and mold that most people would have treated when they were still toddlers. Unfortunately, her parents felt it more important to buy furs and take cruises than to get their daughter medical attention.<P>She's doing immunotherapy now and is on a couple of different anti-histamines. The big thing is the cortical steroids. We know that taking those make a huge difference in how she feels. As a matter of fact, last time she felt like getting busy, she was on the steroids. The problem is that she is very prone to sinus infections and being on steroids ain't good when you have an infection. So she has to deal with the infections, then eventually she can start the steroids again. <P>Eventually after the immunotherapy she should be able to get to a point where she will either not need the steroids, or will be able to maintain them for longer periods of time.<P>The pills are certainly impacting her libido, but there are other factors that aren't helping much either. <P>So no...it's certainly not black and white.

I'm not sure if you meant this, but corticosteroids suppress libido. Anyway, your wife sounds like she's under the weather generally, which isn't good for anyone's libido. Wishing you well.

Considering they supress libido tells me something too. Because like I said, she got to feeling "happy" again when she was on them. That tells me that it's clearly other physical issues beyond the BCPs that are causing the problem.<P>I'll let you folks know if we find out otherwise. In the mean time, I want to thank everyone for all of their help. We haven't neccessarily solved anything, but you gave us what we needed to know to make some intelligent decisions. For that, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. )

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2"><BR>We haven't neccessarily solved anything, but you gave us what we needed to know to make some intelligent decisions.</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Personally, that's the point of everything I do here and at fsdinfo. I simply want to empower people to look at all the options and decide, with the knowledge given, what makes sense for them.<P>Thanks. I couldn't have stated it better.<P>Come back and let us help if we can, and if possible, keep us updated on how things turn out.<P>Best wishes,<BR>Greg<P>------------------<BR>See the icons at the top of this post for my profile and more information.<BR>Also note, I am *not* a doctor, and this is not intended as medical advice - Please talk to your doctor about your concerns.

Hi everyone, I have been reading all your info on No Libido, I was working very hard on this subject last yr and finally gave up and decided it's just the way it is. My problem is exactly like Lumpus dicribed his wife, except Im post menaposal. I had a hystorectomy at 29 and left pc of ovary. Life was great my sex drive was same 2 or 3 times aday was fine. 6years ago the ovary burst and was removed and life as I knew it has ceased. Now I feel the same as your wife. you mentioned a list of Md's ?? Im haveing trouble finding someone. My MD has put me on estratest and changed up harmone and also put me on welburton. nothing has helped. I ask for the various test you mentioned and she say's the other type are unreliabe I even printed a copy of info from this web site. I like my doctor but need someone more into this type of problem. I'm at the end of my rope and seriously am considering a divorce and just live alone, because I know this is unfair to my husband. I emailed the bermans site last year and didn't receive an answer. Any suggestions would be appreciated..

Women who have a full hyst (ovaries removed) are often put on testosterone to help with libido, as well as other things. Your body needs testosterone for things other than libido, as well, and your ovaries are what produces testosterone. This may or may not be the problem, but it is a distinct possibility. I can't provide links here, but you are welcome to email me for relevant information. In some cases, a cream isn't enough (my gyn was on oral testosterone for some time after she had her ovaries out at a fairly young age for health reasons, for example).<P>Also, if you aren't depressed, you shouldn't be on Wellbutrin. Wellburtin can help libido in *clinically depressed* people (or those with similar chemical problems), and has a lower rate of sexual side effects than some other meds (mostly SSRI's); but, there isn't a large, double-blind study that I am aware of showing positive effects that outweigh negative ones in people whose only issue is low libido. It can, indeed, even have a negative impact on libido, as can many other drugs. It is important not to take yourself off Wellbutrin, however, and you should do so under a doctor's supervision. <P>It does sound like you need a new doctor, but specific providers cannot be discussed here. You can email Distressed (or myself) for further information on this, too.<P>All hope for you is certainly not lost, and your answer may not be far away.